Making Your Point with a Question

We've all heard it, time and again, that one should make every effort to avoid being negative. In meetings, or team interactions, giving feedback is important, as ideas are developed and advanced. Being a critical part of that development team and making significant contributions, can create plenty of fodder for inter-team conflict and paralysis that can derail a team, and your career. So, how does one tell a team member that their idea is stupid? Well, you don't. You make them say it, if only to themselves, but in a way that makes them withdraw their position. And you do it with questions. Innocent questions, structured in a way that asks the person to address some of the weaknesses you see. They will either answer your questions to your satisfaction, or they will see your point in turn. In any case, you avoid being negative and saying, "That's a stupid idea, and it will never work", as well as saving a business relationship that might be a recommendation for a future job, after you're laid off because the economy tanked...........Hello.

People, Communications, and Business

The most important thing in the world is people. They are more important than profits, more important than margins, more important than just about anything. When you interact with people let them know that they are important. Let them know that you recognize them as people first, with emotions, family, and a whole host of facets that make them human. They will appreciate the breather, and they will appreciate you. Once that happens, real communication can begin. Until that happens, there is nothing that will remove all of the barriers that will prevent you from connecting on the most personal and fundamental of levels. Communication is people. It is reaching out and touching someone with words, gestures and expressions. Now go out and communicate. Go out and touch someone and never forget to let them know that you know, they are human, just like you.

I'm Listening...

Most competitive business people love their ideas to be heard and want others to buy into our point of view. The common approach is to make your point, listen for feedback, and then respond to the feedback directly, in an attempt to counter any objections to our ideas. Some things to remember:

Communication is as much about being able to receive and critically assimilate it as it is about sending you message and being heard. So, instead of responding immediately to the feedback, ask a few questions. Get the person to expound on their ideas, and encourage them to continue. Paraphrase what they’ve said to let them know they’ve been heard. In doing so, you will have shown the respect of listening—remember we all love to be heard—and you just might learn something you did not know, even if you don’t know that you don’t know!

In a meeting, always leave someone a way out

Business meetings can easily become confrontational. Different ideas and personal agendas can lead to intense and heated encounters. Make your point solidly, but always leave the person on the opposite side of a topic a way out of a confrontational situation. Others in the room will see the validity of your point, and respect you for allowing the other person to save face. The other person will also realize and appreciate it. Remember, you may need this person's support on a future issue. If you make an enemy, you loose a future Ally. Industries are small communities, even in the global market. Your reputation is the most important thing you have. You could find yourself needing today's opponent as a recommendation for a future position, or he or she could end up being your boss.

Elevator Speeches

Each time we find ourselves having a conversation with a superior, a coworker, or one of our employees, it is an opportunity to communicate. All too often, these opportunities are squandered. Take a moment at each interaction to consider what you would like to accomplish in your brief communications. Do you want to build a closer relationship? Do you want to persuade someone of something? Do you want to inform them on something, or motivate them to action? Work on your awareness of these interactions, and the kinds of messages you want to send. Choose the right words for the audience you have before you and don't introduce more than one core item in these brief conversations. In doing so, you will plant a seed and create an opportunity for more discussions later. It's like laying the foundation of a building yet to be built.

Just Getting Started

Hi everyone. Thank you for taking the time to visit. I'm just getting started, so there's not a whole lot to look at; but come back soon. I'm working hard to add exciting new content that you can share and use, and will be looking forward to your participation and insight as well.

Thanks